To sugar or not to sugar.....

The epitome of adulthood for me has always been black coffee. I have thought that once I reached the point in my life where I could drink coffee black and truly enjoy it, then I would be a full fledged adult. I was always mesmerized by the Folger's commercials as a youngster and would sing the chorus "It's Folgers in your hup" What a hup was I have no idea, but that is how I liked to sing a long, and I recollect my father not letting me have a cup of joe until I sang the song correctly. Who gives a child coffee???? A braver man that I will be with little mama I assure the audience.

As of now I am still approximatley two equal packets away from adulthood. Pretty scary to realize actually. I wonder if adulthood will feel differently? Will I suddenly have a visible sign of it, or will it just be an innerpeace type of thing? Dear Jesus just don't let it require bad shoes or mom jeans!!

For the love of Fall

I always find myself sighing relief at summer's end, not that I don't enjoy the warm and lazy days the summer offers merely I feel fall kind of comes just in time to keep my head on straight. This is why I love being a Kansas and having the opportunity to enjoy all four seasons. I feel that each year as the leaves turn and fall so does the dead weight of the prior year of my life. In a sense like a snake shedding her skin. I was chatting the other day with a friend and realized that I am somewhat of a worthless writer without some heartache in my life. I think that I need to shake that from my writer psych because I am not up for sob poems anytime in the near or far future.
I would like to say I have been doing a little soul searching lately, but to be quite honest I am always soul searching, it has become a continuous wash, rinse, and repeat cycle with me. I think as humans who are in constant states of change in one way or another we never really settle, or at least I would like to think this is true. And I don't mean in a "sow your oats" way, because I truly believe two people can connect and remain faithful to each other for their lifetime, I just mean that people need new things in their life. Don't let your imagination and dreams sink to the bottom of your snowglobe.
I feel no need to settle and I must admit regretfully there are days I feel I have settled. I have a fierce love of music and dance and yet I have pushed that out of my life for the sake of a career. I have not, however given up my dream of pursuing in some shape or form a life in the arts, so I guess that gives me something to look forward to after school is under my belt. This may sound selfish but I don't want to be one of those parents that gets lost in their childrens lives. I want to do things I enjoy, have a hobby and extra curricular activities. I see all to frequently adults who have become cab drivers for their children and never stop to take a breathe and have a life of their own.
Maybe this is why Disney movies never show life after marriage and kids.....

In conclusion to my ramble I am excited for what the blowing leaves will bring into my life and will try to be accepting of turning colors...