The intimacy of a Blog

I recently realized how much thought I put in to titles... of anything, poems, stories, papers, blogs... I have to have a title before I can start writing. I feel I need something to center my thoughts around I suppose. I have been known to go back and change a title once the writing has ceased, however it is rare that I just start flowing without a title at the top of the page. With that out of the way, I was pondering what I would say if certain people asked to read my blogs. I realized how personal blogs can be... I guess they are like internet journals, but the intensity I put into some of my posts I would not want to share with everyone. So weird to think when I am blasting this out for God only knows who. Probably not as many people as I think, which is fine with me, I suppose I write more as a source of venting as opposed to humoring or inspiring others. I would like to think that my writing would be interesting enough to have a repeat following if one decided to browse through and stumble upon Ms. Mofo.

Onto a completely different course, isn't it strange how in our days of growth we begin to realize that the relationship foundation we once thought we had with a close relative has never been what was thought to be. This person has in a sense held you back and at this point you have become so blanketed with fear you have no escape. Not so much physical fear, but the fear of a collapse. Fear that the relationship would crumble and there would be no way to dig out of the ruble. Maybe this is just what the relationship needs? A confrontation, but how to go about it? A person you once thought you entrusted so much in and now have come to realize you entrust nothing to this person. This person holds none of your secrets, knows few of your dreams, of your loves, passions, needs. I would think it is worth it to rebuild, start somewhere and try to have a foundation, even a mountain of a relationship with this person. Well maybe not a mountain rather a vault. Vaults are safer than mountains... maybe not as beautiful, but much more reliable.

.....

Did that really happen?
Things begin to go your way
Your head is held higher
Your smile lasts longer
Your heart flutters
then
Silence
Now what?
Patience
Hope
Faith

Patience is a virtue that I have a very hard time slowing down for. I prefer the I want it now option in most things, this generally leads to trouble, why hasn't the lesson been learned????

Things happen for a reason at the right time... not when we want them to or expect them to.... just wait it out little girl!!!

Dreaming of Revelry

First off let me say that Kings of Leon hats off to you gentlemen.... it isn't often you can go to a concert and the band sounds better live than they do on c.d. but these guys were phenomenal to say the least. Not only that but the crowd there was amazing as well. I was very impressed with OKC. I had no idea it was such a happening little place. I am pretty certain in my vodka and redbull induced stuper I fell in love with no less than 4 men! A very liberating experience. I was able to share time with a friend and really grow to know them as a person... a true priceless experience had in an expensive weekend! Things to commemorate this fantastic weekend:
King of Leon (enough said there)
Sky Bar
A beautiful bartender
The foreign boy who stole my heart
The shower of dreams
The shower of dreams again
A 3lb baked potato
Cheever's
Chicken and Waffles (delicious)
coffee,cream,splenda
6 hours of drive time with no need for a radio


In lue of the concert, fall, and thoughts weighing on my heart I will close with some beautiful lyrics from KOL:

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine
With the fire in my bones And the sweet taste of kerosene
I get lost in the night so high don't wanna come down
To face the loss of the good thing that I have found
Woo hoo hoooo
Woo hoo hoooo
In the dark of the night I can hear you calling my name
With the hardest of hearts, I still feel full of pain
So I drink and I smoke and I ask you if your ever around
even though it was me who drove us right into the ground
See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while I was dreaming of revelry
Gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind in my back I wont ever even bat an eye
Just know it was you all along that had a hold of my heart
But the demon in me was a best friend from the start
So the time we shared it was precious to me
All the while I was dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry
And I told myself oh the way you go
it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods, in the dark of the night
Palest pale of the old moonlight
Everythings just felt so incomplete
Dreaming of revelry